420 and im not 420ing.

on 420

i don’t smoke pot. if you’ve read this before you’ll know i tried it once, appreciate the benefits, but do not feel that i need a really bad habit that could cost me everything.

on the other hand, if i didn’t work at 5 fucking am tommorow i could really use it. overly stressed and need an escape. plane tickets are expensive. don’t feel like puking tequilla. and i theres no cliff to jump off right now. and there seems to be a current shortage on hot guys with motorcycles tonight.

so yes, right now with all the love and sharing going around, it would be an awesome night to get high. but no, as usual my responsible ass is at home writing blogs instead of releasing my stress through other means. cause i know doing so will prob just mean stress later. spec since i work in like 6 hours.

if ever there was a time where i needed to just not give a shit this would be it. but i do. and im not a stoner. and i don’t need to be cause im tough as hell and can handle.

on self censorship myspace and facebook

also… i’m kinda missing myspace. i used to be able to write shit like this on myspace. how i felt, poems, what i was thinking. i didn’t have to be anonymous because back them people didn’t take all your words and throw them back at you later. myspace friends were your actual friends not your critics.  you don’t ever write anything real on fb. not with all these people you don’t really wanna be friends with on there. you have to edit everything. “what if my coworkers see this. what if my grandaunts see this. what if my ex sees this. oh this might offend these people.” then your stuck in that little “custom” privacy box trying to edit who reads it just incase it may offend people. then your rewriting a one sentence post to make sure it doesn’t offend people and it just irritates me more cause thats not being real. whats the point in expressing yourself online if you have to kiss ass and be fake as much as you do in real life.

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