blood soaked wings.

 

 

 

i try to fly

with soaken wings

to the light

in the mist of all these fucked up things

i try to be a better person

while they all hold me down

tell me i am nothing

tell me i am better than them all

i try to be a good person

in a dark dark world

with blood soaked wings

and scary things

lurking in my head

 

i try to be the better person

but i’m becoming YOU instead.

 

 

Amazon Queen on Death Bed

i wear my heart on a sleeve for all the world to see

this is me. broken and bleeding

you call the things i write garbage
you claim the things i say are atomospheric trash
the way you laugh
constantly at my charecter
your eyes that roll
your head that turns
in the night you holding me only long enough for your satisfaction
then you push me out the door.

why do i do this to myself
its not your fault i stay
why i can’t i turn and walk away from your cold reception of me
you don’t want me
i know
others want me
i see
why am i still at your door step
begging
for you to take me in.

who is this pathetic mess
waiting for the clock to tick
waiting for the text
that never comes
having no life but yours
life as your whore is a very lonely existence
what happened
to the amazon queen
i once knew.
——–

Amazon Queen

Amazon Queen
of legends
warrior of heart and soul
bullet proof from harsh words and conformity
stood tall on her island
where others fell.

they tore down my tress
they uprooted my beautiful jungle
they ripped from the earth everything i held dear
burned my grass shack to the ground.
still i fought. one battle after another.
unconquered.

one man
the warrior of glass
through his spear
strait through my heart
watched me struggle in the sand
bleeding out. reaching
unsure of how to deal with the pain
having always been invincible
i thrash and struggle
he puts his weight on the end
the sharp blade digging deeper
the spears shaft driving through my body
pinning me to my island
i look at him with pity
let me go
but he ignores me
kicks dirt in my face
and walks away
laughing

and the once powerful Warrior Queen
finally learns to cry.

Standing in the Rain

~standing the the rain~ (by me 🙂

im standing in the rain and thinking

90% percent water. my body

water is the nourishment water is the life in me. the softness in my skin, the fluid i grow in. the nourishment that i need to survive. water is life.

and as the cool rain runs across my flesh i think
fire is the warmth in me , the spark that keeps me alive, the sun that grows the food i eat and passion that creates
fire is my heart. fire allows me to stand here tonight in the rain,
fire is life.

my feet pressed solidly against the ground i look up at the sky and notice
my stomach digests the trees that i have eaten providing me with this energy, this growth, a healthy adult.
all nutrients come from the earth
there for all life comes from the earth
plants, dirt, soil, this is all life
running through my body
this planet feeds me.
earth is life.

i exhale the frustrations of the day to the steady sounds of a rainfilled street
and i realize
every breath in, is life flowing to my lungs
every breath out, is proof that i am still alive for a moment longer
and i know
air is life.
wind is life.
chilly nights like this.
this is life.

this. is. life.


Lazy Day

~Lazy Day~

I want to cuddle in warm blankets and stay that way

Roll around all day watching cartoons and laughing

Drinking beer and eating cranberries and finding life hilarious

Laying on the beach sand in my hair waves at my feet

 

I want to be lazy each and every day im with you

With nothing left to do but play in the sun

Stay up all night long with video games and fake guitar songs

Do nothing with our lives but enjoy every passing moment

 

I want to stop worrying about work, my mom, and when you’ll be gone

I want the pressure of not being good enough to go away

Along with the obligations I have to memories of my past

I want to move forward and not hold myself back like I do

 

And spend each and every moment of time wasting my life with you.

 

This is what i dream of

 This is what i dream of

this is what i dream of

i dream its cold
middle of the night
darkness racing with everlasting light
pale softness dancing, bare and free
rolling in sea foam
im shivering
you hold me
you take me home
you love me
tell me everything will be alright
that im yours
and you wont change your mind
in the morning.

let my spirit run
as free as my soul
let it wander the earth
like the reckless being i was meant to be
let it love unconditionally
without judgement or question
not seeking reciprocity
but a small sense
of understanding
that this is what i am
wild
unyielding
never holding back
the wind that comes and goes
blowing through your fingertips
in the
chilly ocean spray filled night
caressing your skin
before returning
to the sparkling endless skies.

love me for what i am
then let me go.

 

 

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