i wear my heart on a sleeve for all the world to see
this is me. broken and bleeding
you call the things i write garbage
you claim the things i say are atomospheric trash
the way you laugh
constantly at my charecter
your eyes that roll
your head that turns
in the night you holding me only long enough for your satisfaction
then you push me out the door.
why do i do this to myself
its not your fault i stay
why i can’t i turn and walk away from your cold reception of me
you don’t want me
others want me
why am i still at your door step
for you to take me in.
who is this pathetic mess
waiting for the clock to tick
waiting for the text
that never comes
having no life but yours
life as your whore is a very lonely existence
to the amazon queen
i once knew.
warrior of heart and soul
bullet proof from harsh words and conformity
stood tall on her island
where others fell.
they tore down my tress
they uprooted my beautiful jungle
they ripped from the earth everything i held dear
burned my grass shack to the ground.
still i fought. one battle after another.
the warrior of glass
through his spear
strait through my heart
watched me struggle in the sand
bleeding out. reaching
unsure of how to deal with the pain
having always been invincible
i thrash and struggle
he puts his weight on the end
the sharp blade digging deeper
the spears shaft driving through my body
pinning me to my island
i look at him with pity
let me go
but he ignores me
kicks dirt in my face
and walks away
and the once powerful Warrior Queen
finally learns to cry.
water is the nourishment water is the life in me. the softness in my skin, the fluid i grow in. the nourishment that i need to survive. water is life.
and as the cool rain runs across my flesh i think
fire is the warmth in me , the spark that keeps me alive, the sun that grows the food i eat and passion that creates
fire is my heart. fire allows me to stand here tonight in the rain,
fire is life.
my feet pressed solidly against the ground i look up at the sky and notice
my stomach digests the trees that i have eaten providing me with this energy, this growth, a healthy adult.
all nutrients come from the earth
there for all life comes from the earth
plants, dirt, soil, this is all life
running through my body
this planet feeds me.
earth is life.
i exhale the frustrations of the day to the steady sounds of a rainfilled street
and i realize
every breath in, is life flowing to my lungs
every breath out, is proof that i am still alive for a moment longer
and i know
air is life.
wind is life.
chilly nights like this.
this is life.
i dream its cold middle of the night darkness racing with everlasting light pale softness dancing, bare and free rolling in sea foam im shivering you hold me you take me home you love me tell me everything will be alright that im yours and you wont change your mind in the morning.
let my spirit run as free as my soul let it wander the earth like the reckless being i was meant to be let it love unconditionally without judgement or question not seeking reciprocity but a small sense of understanding that this is what i am wild unyielding never holding back the wind that comes and goes blowing through your fingertips in the chilly ocean spray filled night caressing your skin before returning to the sparkling endless skies.